Hear Me Bark

Pee and Poo in Style

Short Human photographed this impressive bathroom facility at LAX. I should be so lucky to have an area like this to call my own.

Rear Gear

Apparently, someone on Etsy is selling decorative covers for you pet's anus. And it seems like some poor dogs are already being forced to wear them. In Tails of the City, a blog affiliated with The San Francisco Chronicle, Blogger Amelia Glynn describes seeing one in person.

If you ask me, this is totally a dumb-ass idea. (Heh, heh.)

Photo Credit: RearGear's Etsy Shop

DST Sucks

If you ask me, daylight saving time (DST) is one of the stupidest concepts ever. In addition to making the day seem longer, it throws everything off. For example, my humans acted sluggish and weird today, which made everything take longer. It was almost noon when I finally got to play fetch with my beloved Chuckit! Ultra ball. This is unacceptable. Things better shape up around here or the humans are going to have a crazier than normal standard poodle on their hands.

March Madness

Those tall humans who run around playing with a giant fetch ball aren't the only ones engrossed in March Madness. I've been busier than a one-armed wall paper hanger these last few weeks. In addition to beginning a rigorous training program — complete with hot dogs and string cheese — I spent my first night at Pride and Pedigree, fetched on the dog beach at Albany Bulb, returned to play at my beloved Wag, endured taunting from an elusive squirrel, and survived a week alone with Tall Human. Oh, and Aunt Charly gave birth to six spoo puppies.

This madness could have driven an ordinary dog mad; luckily, I'm no ordinary dog. I'm ready for more madness and adventures, so bring it.

Attack of the Standard Poodles

The humans and I drove to Morgan Territory Regional Preserve yesterday for our monthly Poodles-at-Play hike. Despite the rain, we hiked through slippery mud for 3.5 miles. Along the way, I ran across hills with my pals, stopped to play at a small pond, and got chased down and attacked like a gazelle being hunted by a mountain lion. Yes, you heard correctly; I was attacked.

The brother and sister pair, Tommy and Sally, came out of nowhere and started chasing me. At first, it was all in good fun, but when I signaled that I was tired of playing, they ran me down and started nipping and pulling hair and ears. Because it was such a terrifying experience, I shrieked in horror and whimpered pitifully as I tried to escape. Seeing Tall and Short rushing toward me, I hightailed it to where they were. Tall grabbed me on both sides of my body and started getting me away from Tommy and Sally, who were being pulled away by their humans. Short squatted down and I ran over to her, tail tucked and whimpering. I have never heard the sound that was escaping my mouth and hope to never hear it again.

After making sure I was physically okay, Tall and Short didn't make a big deal over the situation and encouraged me to run and play, which I did within a couple of minutes. Thank god for my huge ego and confident disposition. I was running around like normal before I knew it. I know Tommy and Sally just got carried away and I plan on remaining their friend. However, next time they decide to attack, I'm going to kick their ass. I'm pretty sure Tall and Short would have my back.

Despite that incident, the hike was a lot of fun. Also, I'm pleased to report that I came home tick free. Was it the concoction Tall mixed up or just luck? As long as I didn't pick up any of those blood suckers along the way, I don't really care if it was the repellent or luck.

Natural Tick Repellent

Hoping to avoid the chaos that ensued after our last hike in the woods, Tall did some research about tick repellents. She discovered a natural tick repellent, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons vegetable or almond oil (Almond oil contains sulfur, a repellent in its own right.)
10 to 25 drops Rose Geranium (or American Pennyroyal) essential oil

Directions:
Combine the ingredients in a glass jar and shake to blend. Dab a few drops on collar (or human clothing), making sure to avoid eyes.

The recipe yields two tablespoons and has a shelf life of six months. Tall bought both oils, as well as a glass mixing bottle with a glass pipette, from Whole Foods. She mixed it up last night and it smells pretty good.

I should point out that this isn't the only tick prevention that I use. I also get a dose of Frontline Plus each month. Hopefully the combination of the two will keep me tick free.

Junkyard Spoo

My recent tick bite has left a weird bald spot on my face, which wasn't noticable until I got groomed yesterday. In addition, there's a similar white bald spot above my left eye. I have no idea what happened there. Tall Human is fretting and worrying that hair won't grow back on those spots. "And if it doesn't," she says, "I'm afraid to keep taking you hiking for fear that you'll end up more white than black."

I'm inclined to go with Tall on this one; it really doesn't look like these bald spots are going anywhere. The spots, however, make me look scrappy -- like a junkyard spoo. I'll just say that I kicked someone's ass in a Michael Vick-style dog fight until hair around the spots grows back to hide them.

I officially hate trees . . .

. . . especially when they hold my fetch ball hostage. This photo shows a scene from last weekend at the dog park. I'm adding "learn to climb trees" to my list of things to learn before I die.

Close Encounters of the Shrine Kind

I went to the dog park yesterday for a game of fetch and was disturbed to see this weird, rocky shrine smack dab in the middle of the park. Suspicious, I steered clear of it. Today, there was a second, smaller shrine just to the right of the original one.

Many questions flood my mind. Are these shrines intended for nefarious purposes? Is someone going to be sacrificed? Who built these shrines -- canines, humans, or extraterrestrials? And where the hell did they find all those rocks?

If I go back tomorrow and there is a third shrine, I just might lose my shit.

Puppy Snob

Yesterday at doggie daycare, I chased around a bunch of doodle mixes, which suffice when no standard poodles are avaible for play. There also was a golden retriever puppy in the mix, whom I did not care for. After hanging out with my standard poodle puppy relatives -- Trevor and Will -- and friend, Hans, I couldn't be bothered with this GR puppy. Have I become a snob?